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How about "The Narrator"? You know, the guy who is incapable of having an unexpressed thought. He handicaps aloud. He doesn't shut up during the race, and you always know exactly how much he's up or down.
These guys can ruin your day. Instead of concentrating on 'capping and betting, you spend your time rooting against him and thinking of ways to kill him.
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“Life does not ask what we want. It presents us with options”
― Thomas Sowell
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